The necessity can not be overstated for splitting couples to speak with their children about divorce. Children often simply can not grasp the implications of divorce and the situation will often turn their world upside down. Although couples may find it difficult considering whatever situation led to their split, sitting down together to speak with their children will allow them to see that both parents are still there for them.
Children and divorce combine to make an awkward ordeal. Generally, one of the last connections between splitting couples, will be the love of their children and if they can sit down together to face them, it eases any undue burden regarding the children and divorce. Children should be told repeatedly by both parents that their love for them will never change and that they have nothing to do with the divorce. Children require special care dealing with the situation and they should be asked how the feel it about it often.
Depending on the age of the child, asking them their opinion about the future is the most appropriate way to deal with the divorce. Children will often wish to stay closer to their home because of friends and school. If one of the parents chooses to move further away, any anger placed on the child regarding their child would be undeserved and inappropriate.
There exist many options and resources for assistance. For example, therapy dealing with children and divorce continues to be a common choice for many families. Many therapists deal directly with children dealing with divorce and can help address the anxieties of losing their foundational support system. Therapists also have the ability to take a step back from the situation and deal only with the child and their needs.
As divorce has become more common, many children will have friends or family members that went through the ordeal and can offer invaluable advice. Parents need to realize that the focus of their split may have been due to a bad relationship, but that all focus and attention needs to remain on the child. Often parents will think that if their child does not seem bothered then they will not have to address it, however, it is crucial to talk about the divorce.